Adult Bullies

I guess I need an outside perspective.

There is an extended family member on the other side who has a habit of bullying our kids. He is a grown man, with 3 children of his own. Every time he hits, hurts, cusses at, is rude to or is emotionally abusive to one of the boys we hear about it. When he hit one boy with a toy and made him cry we reported it. When we were told he was grabbing the boys' ears and pulling on them so hard they would cry, we reported it. This was his way of disciplining the boys and what he does with his own kids. We get complaints all the time and typically after they have a big family gathering. When the boys went to the circus with him, one of them stopped to look at a car and this adult told the other boys that he was going to kill so and so when he found him and then when he did see the child, the adult told him he was going to leave him there alone.

Not too long after that incident, this adult felt that one of the boys was doing something wrong and had caused other kids at a birthday party to act badly. This adult (we are told) bent down towards the child and got right in his face to discipline him. When the child moved away this adult grabbed his arm and hurt the child. When the child stood up for himself the adult got louder. When the child couldn't take it anymore and was visibly upset, the adult said, "I will embarrass you in front of all your friends" and that made the child cry. He ran away from the BULLY and the BULLY said, "That's right, you better run."

Is that not classic bully behavior? There is more to the story unfortunately and it turns out the adult felt he was being disrespected. Forget the fact that he was in my child's face, bullying him, said horrible things to him and feels he has authority over them and even physically hurt him. Then add in the fact that EVERY TIME he has hurt the boys the family is quick to come to his defense and make excuses for him. I guess this adult doesn't realize that respect is a 2 way street.

Am I missing something here? Is this how you talk to your kids? Is it normal to have an Uncle who bullies your kids? This adult is emotionally abusive and bully's them on a regular basis. What kind of a sicko does that? And what do you do when the kids see this adult at their other family functions? And what do you do when you don't see other seemingly responsible adults, stand up for their children? I was just so disappointed in the whole situation and we are at a loss of what to do when you can't be with your kids all the time.

Any thoughts?