One Long Week....

It has been one looooong week. I was supposed to help at the boys' school with a really cool exhibit (Body Venture) but it just happened to fall on the day after Grandma's surgery and I just didn't think I could pull it off. Noah wanted to know why I didn't make it but he filled me in on what a healthy vs smokers lung looks like...I'll spoil the secret and tell you that one is pink while one is black with holes...we were also looking forward to seeing Noah's 2 month volcano project but after it was graded someone knocked it to the ground...

The boys came home with lots of stories on Friday...and with 3 crazy boys you KNOW they tried to tell me at the SAME TIME right? Sometimes I feel like a referee and once asked Scott to buy me a striped jersey...but no such luck...yet. Lucas' big news was that his friend M. had KISSED S. on the lips SEVEN times that day!!! He had already told us several weeks ago that recess is the BEST time to kiss because of all the hiding places...but promised he had NEVER done that...he just knows what the other kids do. Well, when he saw his friends kiss, he told his best friend S. that he was too young for kissing and that it was innapropriate! (can you tell we use this word a lot?) The best part is that he told S. that he wasn't going to have a KISSY, KISSY girlfriend until he was 18! Awww, a momma can only hope....right?

Noah's big news was that he had brought his grades up in just 2 weeks. When Scott got Noah's progress report there were several items of concern and Noah was very disappointed in himself as well. After some great communication, new rules and goals were set in place and Noah seemed to "come alive" at school. His teacher told Scott that he was very proud of Noah and that he wished all of his students would do what he is doing. Noah is now paying attention, following directions and we can see a difference in his spirit as well. When I shared his great news with Grandma, she started to cry. It was so startling that I jumped up because I thought something was wrong with her and that she was in pain. Of course I started to cry too when she said she was just so proud of him and knew he could do better. She was overjoyed!

Eli's big news was that he had a rough ending to his day. One of the girls in his class asked him to eat lunch with her and her mom. Any time the kids' parents come to lunch, they get to ask a friend to join them and they sit up on the stage. The sweet girl who asked him gets made fun of...a lot...but Eli is such a sweetheart that he is friends with everyone...and no, I'm not just saying that cause I'm biased. He is so much like Scott in that he is genuine and really cares about people and it makes him a magnet...so when S. asked he said yes and as soon as they got to the cafeteria, some kids in his class were yelling across the room that they felt sorry for him...but Eli ignored them and ate lunch with S. During lunch, two of his friends were talking about him and he was upset that they were talking about him behind his back. (this was the bad part of his day and the point of his story) After lunch the kids made fun of S. some more and she was crying. S's mom told Eli that what he did (eating with them) really showed her what kind of a person he was. I was so moved by this story because it's the classic peer pressure story...and ELI passed with FLYING colors! Isn't that what we want for our kids? To know who they are and to be confident in doing the right thing, no matter what anyone says? So, even though he shared the story out of frustration, we turned it into a teachable moment about character....and when I told this to grandma...she just kept on crying...

On friday, I made an EPICALLY bad dinner...the WORST dinner I have ever made. I tried to rename it "Cajun Spaghetti" but no one was  buying it and we couldn't eat it...so after we ate our salad...we jumped in the truck and headed to Krispy Kreme where we used up 10 FREE doughnut coupons and a FREE espresso coupon...such a well balanced meal for my sweet family...burnt spaghetti and meatballs, spinach salad and doughnuts...mmmmmm

And on Saturday, after only an hour of sleep, i woke up to Scott loudly whispering my name...I ran to the bathroom to see what was wrong and there he was, wrapped in a towel...with his GROSHONG (iv line to his heart) LAYING on the bathroom floor. Bloody I might add...cause it FELL RIGHT OUT OF HIS CHEST! He hasn't had the thing that long and he has decided that his body was done with IV's and just...pwetht...spit the tube out of his chest. lol  He called the clinic and will go back in to see Dr. R. next week, but he REALLY enjoyed his FIRST foreign object free day in 2.5 years!! He feels liberated. We think we might just be done with the IV part of the protocol and are going to see if he can just start his orals 2 months early...he can't bear to get another picc line...

So, while Scott has a gaping hole in his chest (insert joke here) we also learned that we might need new brakes...jeans were $1.99 at Goodwill this week, Ladybug is a little sick and oh yeah...Lucas broke my LAPTOP computer tonight and now I can't print my papers for my job interview on Monday.....what a week!

I forgot to show you these photos...

I just downloaded these photos from my camera and thought you might like to see more of mom.

This is at Cracker Barrel on our way to check her in last Sunday.

 

This is bright and early the day of her surgery.

I have updated mom's page with the latest news and will try to keep it fresh everyday till we move out of ICU. If you want to send her a card just mail it to our house and I will make sure she gets it.

DeJaVu

We are back at the hospital and things are going great. The surgery was 10 hours long but mom is making progress with leaps and bounds. I will be adding updates to our Keeping Up With Mary Ann page. You can find that at the top of our blog. Thank you for praying for us! The kids have been working out our visiting schedule for the last month and at this point, I have no idea who will be the first visitor. Lucas has a theory that it needs to be the youngest, Noah thinks it should be the oldest grandson and so on...

Here is the photo I took of mom at 5:30 am on Monday morning. She was all ready for surgery and made me laugh when she said, in Lucas fashion...."Let's do this thing." She told me that she would be fine and for me not to worry. haha Like that really worked! I am so proud of her fighting spirit and am so thankful that she made it thru surgery! Go mom! :) We have a long way to go but I really think she can pull it off and have a complete recovery! The kids will be bummed when Grandma gets to move back home but she will really enjoy her life again. She won't know what to do with a fixed heart. She ran circles around us before so I can't even imagine how much energy she will have when she has recovered...but I can't wait to find out!

Late Night Avatar Run after 1st Grade Fun

Last night we took Grandma with us to Lucas' musical. We enjoyed a 20 minute concert by the 1st & 2nd graders before heading out to Macaroni Grill for a late dinner. On our way home we were spontaneous (which is a HUGE accomplishment for a household with 2 sickies!) and decided to go see a late movie. We thought we should finally see Avatar and are so glad we did! It was great taking mom out for the night and doing something spontaneous and silly. We had a great time at the movie and didn't get home until almost 1 this morning!

Lucas did a great job singing, listening and following directions tonight. He is a natural entertainer!

Mom was super silly last night and thought she looked good in her glasses...she mentioned it several times. lol. I think she looks adorable! We had fun and only jumped a few times because of 3D flying objects.

I just uploaded more photos from my phone and realized that we managed to fit in more activities last weekend than I mentioned. On Saturday, Grandma and I took the kids to see The Tooth Fairy while Scott rested and then after treatment we went to a nice Chinese restaurant to celebrate life with Grandma. It was a weekend full of sweet memories.

Fun With Grandma

On Valentine's Day we took a ton of silly photos with Grandma. These are a few of my favorites.

Heart Cath Test

Mom went in for her Heart Cath test last Tuesday and it was a success! Last year, she had internal bleeding, passed out and ended up being admitted for the night so we were very thankful that we were only there 6 hours! The Dr. said that everything was clear and there was no need for a bypass (thank God!) and that she was ready for Monday.

Mom was done with the procedure at 11 and rested till 1. Right before we were supposed to leave, Dr. Miller's P.A.'s came to visit. These 2 ladies are so sweet and have been a huge blessing during this whole ordeal. They have really become attached to mom and both of them told her several times that they loved her. They stayed with us for an hour and we laughed and cried with mom as we talked about the silly things she said and did when she was loopy. They both bought some of mom's pottery last year, and they have them displayed on their mantels so they said they think about her everyday and talk about her all the time. Michelle told us that she had already told all the nurses that mom was coming back and that everyone was excited to see her again. App. the 3rd floor CCU has been moved to the 4th floor and they have already picked out her room. These rooms are beautiful! This is where we went in Nov. when they mistakenly admitted her as a dialysis patient. It has hardwood like floors, beautiful colors, flat screen tv's and personal suites...they are giving mom the biggest room on the floor and calling it Mary Ann's suite.

I was really touched by the kindness and sincerity of the girls and just beamed with pride as they gushed over mom. They told her how special she was and how she had touched all of the staff at the hospital. It was a great blessing! Michelle took that time to tell us that she wanted us to come to the hospital to "check in" on Sunday night (21st) so they could run labs and get her hydrated before the surgery. Its not really funny that we use the hospital as a hotel, but if it helps her chances, then I am all for it. She also shared with us that Dr. Miller had planned a trip to go see his kids at college, the weekend before the surgery. She said that he did this on purpose because he "gets filled up" when he sees them and he always feels his best. He wanted to have that extra fill up before mom's surgery. Isn't that sweet?

So, the staff knows we are coming, they are preparing the way and getting mom in the best possible shape before the surgery. The surgeon is praying about this surgery daily and we are hoping for the best. Please continue to pray with me...for LIFe...but more importantly that we will be ready for whatever God's will is...

Countdown.....3...2...1...

I am feeling the pressure right now and just want to crawl back into bed. My brain is constantly praying, talking, pleading, begging and what-if-ing the outcome of Monday. I have been trying to give this fear over to God but at this point, the fear is winning. It has helped that the surgeon is optimistic about the surgery but I am a worrier... I guess I think I can do something about it if I hang on to it and try to out guess the outcome so that I can be emotionally prepared...though none of that incorporates the Faith I am supposed to have. I don't mean to be a whiner, but 13 years ago I had faith that my dad would come home from the hospital and that didn't mean much so I am afraid to feel those feelings again. I guess it comes down to my expectations. If I assume the worst and prepare for it, then I can't be disappointed if it happens...and if the best possible outcome happens, then I am pleasantly surprised and can work from there...though we all know I will be disappointed if the outcome is anything but life.

For the past year, I have really struggled with prayer: what is it, is it useful, does it work, does it matter, does it really change God's mind, is it to change my heart instead, is God really interested in my little world, is He really a personal God, and if I do keep praying, do I ask for something once or do I need to beg Him continually? There are so many questions swirling around in my head. People told me to fast and pray last year because that would really get God's attention, so I did. But what I learned was that the fasting and praying was meant to change my heart and attitude. The more I ignored my physical needs and turned to prayer, the more open I was to hearing God. My heart was broken and quiet and I was able to s.t.o.p. and listen and that prepared me for the next few weeks where mom's life hung in the balance. I tried with all my might to trust God and knew that no matter what He let happen, He loved mom more than I ever could....that was a good place to be but that was 8 months ago...and I am not in that quiet place now.

I feel like we have been in a countdown to the 22nd and I will either get a bonus and have 20 more years to spend with mom, or it will be over and our time together will be done. How horrible to have a date in mind where you know the possibility of death is high! I know that any of us could go at any time but we don't typically KNOW an approx. date...and for us...we know that the 22nd could be it. I am not ready for this countdown to be over and as of today, we have 3 days left. What do you do in the last 3 days you have together? Have you ever thought about that with the loved ones in your family? As I type this, mom has just called her brother and now I am crying. My mom hates to use the phone but she wanted to call her 4 sisters, 2 sister-in-laws and her brother before the surgery. She is uncomfortable calling because as she told Dr. Miller's nurses, "What do I tell them? That I might die on the 22nd so I wanted to call to say goodbye? You just don't do that." My uncle also has heart problems so they are discussing surgery and mom's chances. She says she feels ready and she really does but I know she is scared. I am scared too. I want to be a person who can give their fears over to God but I am not ready. I know that HE is the sustainer of life and HE is in control of who lives and who dies. I am still begging him to extend mom's life because she has more to do but I have no idea what HE has planned for us. I want to be open to God's will, even if it doesn't match my wants so I have 3 days to work on that. Great.

When mom went in for her heart cath test on Tuesday, I saw Dr. Miller in the hallway and we talked for a few minutes. I had to hear it from him again so I asked if he was optimistic...and he said yes. He said that she is healthier and stronger than he thought she would be and he feels she is ready. I told him that I was praying for him everyday and he thanked me and told me how much he covets those prayers. He is asking for wisdom to get in and do exactly what needs to be done in the least amount of time possible. They will be replacing the mitral valve with another organic valve and he thinks she has a great chance of recovering. Her surgery is what they consider a REDO but most of those are done 10 yrs after the first surgery so her case is of course, unique. If she can survive the heart bypass machine, get plenty of oxygen during the procedure and get her heart to start back up again, she will probably be fine. Her fighting spirit has gotten her this far and I am praying that we can do it all over again. As always, please be praying for Mom, for Dr. Miller, his team and for our family. I am asking for wisdom in any decisions that need to be made, for peace for all of us and for life. Love you all!

Happy Valentines Day!

It's Sunday night and the house is quiet. We have had a very busy week punctuated with a flurry of activity for our Valentine's weekend. We had our first meeting regarding Eli's gifted program, where we got to ask questions and discuss any concerns we might have had. We are anxious to get this finalized so Eli can start the program but he still has a meeting with the gifted teacher and school psychologist next week. The boys had their open house on Thur. and all 3 parents went from class to class together so the boys could show us their projects. Lucas read everything on his desk to us and we enjoyed having them with us while we went to their classrooms. On friday, Scott had his Lyme apt. while he was getting his IV's and we think we finally have an end date! (I'll post about that separately.) We also attended the 5th grade Hero's assembly to hear Noah's speech on Jonas Salk. After the speeches, we went to each classroom to spend a few minutes at their Valentine parties before Scott had to leave for treatment...and did I mention that Scott got his license back this weekend? Yay!

Noah did a great job with his speech and months of research on Jonas Salk.

Our friday nights are all about reconnecting, cuddling, tickling, laughing, catching up on the week and spending as much time together as we can. Since this was the last long weekend that the kids would have with grandma (before surgery) we tried to spend as much time with her as possible. We got Papa Murphy's heart shaped pizza's to bake for dinner and had a great family dinner at home. Lucas spent some extra time with Grandma helping her with her exercises and before bed we had a wrestling/tickling match that seemed to be just what the kids needed. They ALL participated...or should I say...ATTACKED us....

Friday night heart shaped dinner with red (heart) juice.


We took lots of photos with Grandma and the kids presented us with their school made Valentine's cards and gifts. By the way, this is Lucas' new photo face...he is trying hard not to blink and it always makes him look terrified...we tried to "adjust" it this weekend but he just couldn't do it...


Lucas has been a big help in getting Grandma stronger by being her exercise buddy.

On Saturday morning, I went to Krispy Kreme to get doughnuts for breakfast as a special treat. They had a special deal where you got a Valentine card/coupon for a free doughnut for each doughnut you bought...so I bought a dozen...and when Scott came home from treatment he ALSO surprised us with more doughnuts from Krispy Kreme...and more free doughnut coupons...so we enjoyed 36 yummy doughnuts all weekend long! We spent the whole day playing and hanging out and Autumn and I finally finished her purse. It took us about 4 hours total to make this project but we really like the finished product. It is super bright and very cool!

Since Scott's doctor cleared him to drive again (Yay! Yay!) he took advantage of the freedom and took his TEENAGER out to lunch on Valentine's Day. They both really enjoyed their Father/Daughter date and Autumn came home with earrings from the mall. She is getting her ears pierced next week and she is super excited. They also made a stop at another jewelry store...but I will save that for later... :)

When they got back from their date, we had her birthday party. Since it was Valentine's day, her theme was Hearts & Love. Daddy gave a little speech about his teenager (this still freaks him out) and we toasted her with our fizzy peach kids wine.

I made her favorite confetti cake and put two hearts on top. The boys helped her blow out the sparkler candles and gobbled up their cake. It was a sweet little party and we just can't believe our little Autumn is a teenager!

Happy Birthday sweet Autumn!

A braid, a boy and a gift...

It was a busy week for us...Scott started a new IV protocol that consists of Rifampin and Mepron. It is a nasty combo that really hits him hard. He was averaging 15-18 hours of sleep a day for most of the week as his body adjusted to the poison...and then he got a cold...the first one in years...and that has really knocked him out. Mom got a new hair cut courtesy of our great friend Candy. Since most of it had fallen out she only had a few stragglers left that wanted to be a pony tail...so we made it official and gave her a cute little cut. Even though she has had a braid for the past 30 some years...I like the short look too.

We continued working on our present for the boys' mom and since the birthday is over...I can show you their creation...

We recycled a glass jar vase, each child painted their hand a different color of green and then left their hand prints on the bottle. This was the grass and leaves for the flowers. Each hand print has their name next to it for posterity...the kids also chose her favorite flower so she could enjoy them all year long. I think it looks pretty cute!

Their next creation: homemade gift certificates...

The gift certificates were good for free hugs and kisses and one even mentioned FREE chores...what parent doesn't dream of hearing that on their birthday? :) Two of them never expire but one sadly will expire when she hits her 1,000,000 birthday....clever...

This week we also got more snow!!...and it was the awesome kind that is wet and makes the PERFECT snowball! I went outside to clear the sidewalk before the kids came home and as soon as they pulled into the driveway Eli & Lucas jump out of the car and tell me I should have a coat on...I had a sleeveless thingy cause really, I hadn't planned on staying very long...and after the two older boys told me their latest news and went inside, Lucas asked if he could help me...talk about melting the ice cold snow from my heart!

He is such a Big, Little Man with a giving heart! Instead of doing just the sidewalk, he asked if he could do the entire driveway...and then told me I could stay outside and watch him if I wanted to. We spent the next 45 minutes taking turns and clearing the way. He told me he wanted to clear it all so that grandma wouldn't slip and fall on her way to the van. Ahhh, more melting....and then towards the end I sped up the process so we could go warm up...and wouldn't you know that sweet little angel started throwing snowballs at me?? I was at the end of the driveway dodging snowballs and trying to shovel snow while hundreds of people drove by...but at least we made them smile as I screamed, chased and threw my own mega snow balls...it was such a great, spontaneous moment...LOVE THAT!

13 days and counting!

The next time Sissy comes home we will be celebrating her 13th birthday! Can you believe that? I have known her since she was two months shy of 7 and I can hardly believe she has grown up this fast! She brought home some baby pics last weekend and she was such a cutie! She is sooooo super excited to be an official teenager and she just beams with pride when you mention that fact. She is super sweet and fiercely loyal to her little brothers. Her heart is so tender that she cries if her brothers are being picked on...and by this I mean by each other....she loves Jesus, cats, ballet and drama practice. She is a creative, young woman and she melts my heart when she tells me that I am the best Bonus mom ever. She is my best little buddy and we both look forward to our bi-weekly drives where she catches me up on the last 2 weeks. She talks non stop for the entire hour home and some days I track her conversation better than others. Ha! I just can't believe that our sweet little Autumn is officially a teenager!

Here she is with her Grandma Holly at her Mother's Day Dance Recital in 2009. She is such a beautiful ballerina and daddy says that she has been dancing since she was 3...I'll have to get some photos of that to post too.

Back in October I had a chance to do an extra freelance project so that I could surprise Autumn with a (very) early birthday present. I figured the transition to teenager(ness) needed something BIG so I SURPRISED her with tickets to a Miley Cyrus concert. She was speechless! She knew she had a big present coming and she was a little nervous as everyone gathered in the living room to watch her open her present....she had been trying to guess it all day and though for sure that we were going to get a pedicure...

The boys knew for a whole month and kept it a secret! That is a HUGE accomplishment! Heck, I knew for a whole month and managed to keep it a secret...though I almost blew it several times...I was just soo excited for our girls night!

As she opened her present she found:

A Miley Cyrus purple leopard print scarf...very trendy you know....

:a Miley Cyrus drum set tshirt...she would love to play the drums in daddy's band...

and for the final piece of the puzzle....

: a home made gift certificate that said:

Roses are red, Violets are blue,

Because you rock...I'm takin' you...

to the MILEY CYRUS CONCERT...TONIGHT!

(imagine it much prettier than that text there...)

Just look at the ecstatic expression on her face as she understood what the g.c. said...she was SPEECHLESS!! and that is RARE! :)

We hurried up and got ready to ROCK....

...And had an AWESOME night! We had AMAZING floor tickets, where Miley rode a motorcycle over our heads!! and it was just a great experience over all. We took photos, video, sang along (We only knew a couple songs) and had a fantastic Mother/Daughter date! I am so glad I got to give her that special gift while my extra income lasted...it was unforgettable!

Custom Designed Blog Headers

I recently made a new header for my friend Sharon and she graciously donated to Scott's Lyme Disease treatment fund....and that got me thinking...I could make some extra money designing blog headers in exchange for donations to our treatment fund! I have a BFA in Visual Communications with an emphasis in Graphic Design with 11 years of experience...and recently laid off... That has made it a little more difficult to buy the medication that Scott needs...and since designing is sort of like my therapy...I would like to help you update your blog in exchange for any monetary donation you can make. I have done some blog makeovers in the past and am open to anything you might need. I like to work with photographs but can create a scrapbook look as well. Email me to let me know what you want.

Here are some recent samples:

We LOVE our long weekends...

We were lucky enough to "get" three long weekends with the kids last month and I think we spent most of those weekends doing some sort of art project. Every once in a while we need to switch the weekends around to line up Dad/Mom day celebrations and Dad/Mom birthday's and we love it when we get any extra time with the kiddos...Last month we celebrated Scott's birthday and this month the kids are gearing up for their mom's birthday. We decided to make her a special homemade present and we made sure to make it last weekend when Autumn was here, so she could be a part of the gift too. It is sitting on one of my art tables and is very cute...but I will wait to post complete pics. until after the actual birthday, so no extended family will accidentally ruin the surprise. The kids did a great job and I hope that she likes the present. It is One-Of-A-Kind! :)

Can you tell what it is??

Last Sunday, Autumn and I finally got around to working on one of her Christmas presents. You might remember that one of her gifts was ducktape (it really is duck...) and that it came in bright orange and purple. She had always wanted to make a purse out of duct tape so she was pretty excited to get the tape as a gift. Plus, it made for a great story when she told her friends what she got for Christmas! We found a design and pattern that she was happy with and we got started with folding the tape and making non sticky strips. We didn't get our purse done but we got a huge jump on the project. I don't think we have much more to do but I am fighting the urge to finish it this week and waiting till she comes back home....

Her two favorite colors: purple and orange

After making 23 orange and 13 purple strips we started weaving them together.

This is becoming a BRIGHT idea...hahaha...I crack myself up...

This is what I finished up on Sunday...after weaving the pieces together I covered one side with full strips of the orange tape. This will be the inside of the purse and the checks will be on the outside. I can't wait till it's finished! I will be sure to post the final purse. Did you know people make dresses out of this stuff?