Spring Break - Sunday

Ahhhh....a day of rest while on vacation.....we slept in and leisurely got ready for a day at John Prince Park. We spent the entire day here with all of the family and did a little bit of everything. We had a delicious picnic, road bikes, played frisbee and football, climbed trees, looked for alligators, found a pet turtle, played in the water spray park, played on the playground, went geocaching and had a fantastic day together!

I had to be creative with some of my shots right? Here I am UNDER the kids and almost got knocked out...but cool pics!

 The big kids decided it was too cold at the spray park so after one run thru they chickened out and shared one towel between the three of them. Aww, aren't they cute?

 I love the trees in Florida! They make for great climbing and hiding! And you don't see signs like this in Kansas or Missouri...

Geocaching....there were 48 in this HUGE park but we only searched for a handful....and had pretty good luck too. We took Uncle Mike for the first time and by the end of the day everyone was looking for the hidden treasures. It is such great exercise and so much fun!

Look at all those cousins! The big, big cousins were MIA but in total there are thirteen...

After a full day at the park we went back to Aunt Kathy's for another big family dinner, games and cards late into the night...we just can't get enough time with these people!

Spring Break - Saturday

With 700+ photos to go thru from our Florida vacation it is taking me longer than I planned to blog about our days. I still want to document how much fun we had so I have decided to keep making collages...I design them so they are easy to print as 5x7's and easy to show you ALL of our fun! :) But, you might  be reading about Florida for the next month...

We started our first full day bright and early and got to the beach by 7:30 am. I found FREE surfing lessons from Island Water Sports and the kids were super excited to give it a try. The fun thing about this store is the shark that fell thru the ceiling...

They had hundreds of surf boards and skateboards lined up inside...which made for some great artistic photos...

Here is the gang ready for their lesson...which started right outside the store with learning how to carry the boards and take care of them...

And when we got to the beach a few blocks away the kids learned some basic techniques from a certified surfer from Hawaii. He is currently working with Bethany, the star of Soul Surfer and he shared a little bit about her life. He then taught them about safety, stances, techniques and their mantra of "Living To Surf Another Day"...once everyone practiced on dry land they moved on to the water...

It was a little chilly that day and the Floridian cousins were freezing but we all thought it was a welcome breeze compared to the weather we left behind in Kansas...

Eli, Autumn, Cousin Kyra and Noah are ready to surf...

It turned out to be a beautiful morning at the beach...and quite a few people showed up for the lesson.

I love this photo but don't worry....no Dawson child was harmed in the making of this photo...

Each of the kids had a partner and a teacher in the water...actually Kinsey was too cold so Lucas ended up having his board all to himself but he was ok with the extra practice time. We were at the beach by 8 am and surfed for over 2 hours! It was great to see the kids try something new and be able to surf!

Here is Noah...somehow I missed his good surfing stance but I promise he made it for a few minutes.

Autumn and Kyra were surfing buddies and they had a great time together. Doesn't she look like a pro?

I saved Eli for last because surfing turned out to be HIS sport! He has never really gotten in to sports because honestly, he doesn't like to run. He is built like his daddy and is very "muscle-ly". This turned out to be the perfect sport for him because of the strength in his legs. We were soo excited to see him loving it! He surfed for 2 hours straight and I got some great photos of him. He LOVED it!

 

Here is the whole group (minus the photographer) who survived their surfing lesson. It was a great start to our vacation and the kids couldn't stop talking about it.

After a delicious brunch, time with Grandma & Papa, naps and more play time we headed to Margate to visit Uncle Mike at work...the Margate police department. We toured the whole place and even got to listen to a few 911 calls. The dispatchers were so calm! Then, Uncle Mike, the good detective that he is, was on the case of a criminal...he dusted for fingerprints, showed us how they do it and found the culprit....KINSEY! After being found guilty by her peers she was sentenced to 30 seconds in jail....and every one else joined in. They were mostly concerned with the toilet in the middle of the room...

On saturday night Scott and I took Eli back to the beach for one of his decade celebration things. (Yes, we are still trying to fit in his 10 things before he turns 11. Happened with Noah too. Oops.) We borrowed Kyra's board but after a few tries we realized it was a professional board and not suitable for a beginner. So, Eli made the best of his Mommy Daddy time and played in the Ocean and on the beach. He always makes us laugh and we had such a nice time together.

We stayed at the beach until the sun went down and then we met the rest of the family at Fox observatory at Markham park.

At the observatory we saw some of the most amazing things. The telescope was pointing at the moon and it really was one of the most amazing and beautiful things I have ever seen. I took some photos thru the pin hole in the eye piece but they don't do the view justice. It was just breathtaking! 

I am sure Uncle Thai will appreciate the addition of his photo (bottom left) ...he always made a goofy face for me...so this is his punishment. hahahah

We packed so much fun into Saturday that it was hard to keep up! I think we managed to fit in more things this year with lots and lots of cousin time. We love it that the kids get to reconnect with all their cousins on Scott's side of the family and the kids can't wait till they can see them year round. What fun!

Spring Break - Florida Road Trip

We are back from our Spring Break trip! For the 3rd year in a row we were given a trip to see Scott's family during Spring Break. Every year it is the same mad dash as we leave Thur. when they get out of school and are back at home by the next Thur! We drive straight thru and arrive Friday evening just in time for dinner. It might take me a while to document our trip and to pick thru the 780 photos I took....but I want to be sure I write it all down so I don't forget. We love looking back thru the blog and remembering the fun things we have done and some day I will print it out to add to our family albums.

This is how we start our trip every year....by documentng the first few minutes of our adventure. They are always SOOO excited to be on their way to Florida again and this year they told us again that the road trip down is one of the best parts of the trip. We love that they think that but Scott and I would be ok eliminating the 23 hr drive...but we do make the best of it and have a great time. Our kids are fantastic about road trips and they have great attitudes. They watch movies, sing, laugh, listen to music and make our meals while we drive...drive...drive....OH! Did I mention the blue shoes? We had blue shoes everywhere!!

It took us 23.5 hours including our traditional breakfast stop somewhere in Georgia at a Cracker Barrel. We got to Aunt Kathy's around 5, got cleaned up, had a delicious meal, stayed up late hanging out with everyone and got back into the groove of a big family. We love it that the kids get to see their cousins and that they all get a long so well. Did I mention we just LOVE Florida? :)

A Real Date....

Last Thursday my sweet hubby and I had a chance to go on a REAL date. That is very rare when you are as financially challenged as we are right now. While owning the coffeehouse we made some life long friends and one such couple bought us a gift certificate to 801 Chophouse in downtown KC. We had never been there before but Oh. My. Gosh.....

"A late 1920's New York City steak house interior with signature leather booths, cherry wood furnishings, wooden floors, granite counter tops and high ceilings accented with dramatic lighting.

801 Chophouse features aged ONLY USDA Prime beef. The freshest seafood and vegetables available including live Maine lobsters, jumbo king crab legs and oysters on the half-shell."

Our booth was right under the cow...

We didn't get this but I wanted you to see the quality of their food...

Boy were we in for a treat! We started with the BEST Fried Calamari EVER. IT was HUGE, FRESH and DELICIOUS! It was beautifully prepared with golden yellow squash, zucchini and roasted garlic remoulade. We will never be able to eat the frozen stuff again. Seriously. Best EVER.

Bad cell phone pic of our delicious Calamari!

Look at the size of that Calamari! SOOO yummy!!!

My hubby had the 14oz Ribeye while I enjoyed the Filet Medallions with lobster and wild mushroom Cabernet demi glace. YUMMM....Melt in your mouth YUM....and we shared a baked potato and a plate of Sauteed Brussel Sprouts with red onion marmalade. It was fantastic.....

We ate dinner early so we could make it to a lecture by world famous Physicist Brian Greene by 7. Scott saw him last time he was in town and was so excited that he could go again. Tickets were free and we had 2nd row seats. Physics has always been a love of my husbands and when we were newlyweds he would read to me from one of Brian Greene's books at bedtime...and while he would drift off to sleep I would lay awake trying to work out all the new things I had learned! I realized bedtime was NOT the time for me to contemplate string theory and the cosmos....ha. I enjoyed the lecture and enjoyed our conversation afterwards even more. We walked across the street to Latte land and sat outside drinking iced coffee under the stars. You really can't have a much more grown up date than that!

We had to get our copy of the book signed....

And here they were discussing something about the lecture that was over my head.....

It was a great date night with the love of my life!!

What Do You Say To This?

What do you say to a child who tells you, "I don't think So-and-So knows how to be happy..."

Wow...

I didn't really know what to say. That's not really something I can answer, fix or explain.

I may have cried while I tried to help them understand a few things and talked to them about responding with respect, grace and love but really, what else could I have said? I'm sorry?

Just To Be Clear....

I am learning to approach Step-parenting & Co-parenting as a business transaction. The first couple of years I was hopeful for a consistent, even tempered, drama free relationship with the other households in our life but that has not been the case. And really, for the first time in my life I am truly ok with that. I learned one big lesson back in July and another last fall. When one child was kept from us and the other three were denied an opportunity to attend a special one time event, it finally hit home. I now understand that our family unit (scott, 4 kids, grandma & me) will never be supported, promoted or encouraged in those other homes. There may be attempts at a superficial show of support but it's not really hard to see thru that. In fact, I have had teachers and parents approach me regarding some over the top behavior that didn't make sense to them. The funny (or not so funny) thing is that it doesn't really make sense to us either.

We believe 100% that this co-parenting thing is NOT a competition. When you don't think of your kids (or the affection of those kids) as a competition then your actions will follow that line of thinking. There should never be a need to do more, buy more, say more or be more than the other parent out of fear. If you are doing something because it is the best thing for the kids that is great. When you start doing more (in public), buying and/or saying more out of competition it becomes disingenuous. And they see it. They're not dumb. They are in fact very observant.  AND more importantly when you change your behavior towards one child because you are angry, scared, frustrated or threatened by their emotions and feelings toward the other household THEY ALL NOTICE. When you say little things to put doubt in their minds about the other household THEY ALL NOTICE. When you actively undercut the other household THEY ALL NOTICE. When you call your family to gripe and complain THEY ALL NOTICE. When you stare at one child, who is on the computer, and you make nasty faces at them THEY NOTICE (but only because they could see your face in the reflection on the computer monitor).

And just to be clear....when I write about something directly related to co-parenting it is not always about one person or even about any one event (although the reflection story is true and from last week) It is more about a general feeling, environment and tendency in some homes as opposed to others. Most NC households are victims of parental alienation and we have dealt with it for several years and will continue to battle it until the offenders are dead and gone. Some people just love to manipulate, control and destroy. Some parents (and extended family members) feel the need to tear you down and make you vulnerable so that they can then be the one to lift you back up so you feel obligated and indebted to them. And as another real world example...Some people do nice things for you so they can then demand your appreciation and thankfulness. But if you don't notice their generosity they demand an apology. And while we certainly don't understand that mindset, we can do our part to shelter the kids from that kind of manipulation.

So, the biggest lesson I have learned is not to take it all personally. If someone wants to be a bully, wants to ignore, wants to belittle, wants to sabotage, undercut, alienate or whatever....that is their problem. I deal with people when necessary, show respect and kindness like any human deserves and do my best to build up the other household while not continuing to make excuses for their behavior. I won't make excuses any more. I regularly encourage the kids to go directly to the source and share their concerns, frustrations, confusions and heartache but am often told they don't want to hurt any one's feelings. I realize no one is perfect but thankfully our kids don't expect that from us. They expect love, kindness, respect and a safe environment where they can trust us, rely on us and feel safe. They shouldn't be responsible for OUR happiness....and just to be clear...I support my husband and know that what he is doing is honestly in the best interest of the kids. How many co-parents can say that?