Decorating for Noah’s Birthday Party

When the boys came home on Friday (before Halloween) Noah was all set to decorate the loft.  I picked them up early and we made a few last minute shopping stops and found him some mini skulls, some candy, some groceries and some fake blood and fangs for Lucas. The boys and I had a lot of fun shopping and planning for the Halloween/Birthday weekend.

Since I worked this fall during nights and weekends and the boys were sick our one free Sunday….we missed going to the Pumpkin patch. It has been a family tradition since the first year I met them and we were disappointed not to be able to go for our 7^th year but when we went grocery shopping the store had a great little Pumpkin Patch with hale bales and signs saying…Take your fall family photo here!….so that’s what we did….we “walked” thru the pumpkin patch (bins) and found our perfect pumpkins and took a kid pic. Not our usual experience but we still had fun…these boys make anything fun.

When we got home, Noah insisted that just the two of us were allowed to decorate so we hung green spider webs on everything. The elevator gates, the candle holders, the chandelier and the dining room hutch. Then the boys decided to decorate their rooms with more webs and the pumpkins they found that day. I didn’t have much time before I had to leave for work but we got everything Hauntified before I left…

Sunday was the big day for Noah’s family party and while Scott took Noah to go get Autumn, Lucas and I worked our magic. Noah had decided on a fun flavored cake…ROOTBEER….so Lucas and I made, baked and decorated the cake in a grayish, spooky color and topped it off with the mini skulls and blood…perfect for a 12 yr old right? Lucas wrapped all the presents for me while I worked on the birthday dinner and by the time everyone got home the table was ready…but before we started the party I had Noah help me with his dinner. His all time favorite meal is Meatloaf cupcakes with garlic mashed potato icing. He has become quite the little cook. Our recipe changes a little each time we make it but we have a secret ingredient that we use every time and they are just soooo delicious. Noah made them from start to finish, following all my directions and while he did that Eli made his famous garlic mashed potatoes. These boys are amazing in the kitchen and we have so much fun each weekend when we cook together. We just LOVE to bake and cook! Eli also made some sweet potato mashed potato icing too….and of course I forgot to take a pic cause they were gone so fast! Once the cupcakes were in the oven we started our party.

Our parties are little family events but we like them that way….small, private and relaxed. The main thing for Noah this year was getting stuff for his new room. He gets his own room now and he wanted to paint it with a music theme. We are going to do gray walls with music instruments and notes throughout the room. I found this great comforter bed set that is black and gray with a huge guitar on one side with matching pillowcases. It was perfect! We also found him an artist table at our favorite Restore (where we found Lucas’ fav. present). Noah is a budding artist and Grandma and I love to reinforce that whenever we can. He got more art supplies for his birthday too and within minutes of setting up his table had drawn a couple cartoons.

After the party and a great Chiefs game, we all got ready for Halloween...I got ready for work and the boys put on their scariest faces. Can you tell Lucas' was a Vampire? Doesn't the hot pink mohawk, fangs and blood give it away? We had a great birthday weekend!

The Most Comfiest Spot To Relax

This is where I found Lucas one Friday afternoon after school…and this is where he stayed for about an hour. Just relaxing and loving his big, furry cushion...

Fall Parties

The boys had their school fall parties and Halloween parade a few weeks ago and Scott and I had the opportunity to help in their classes. We brought goodies for each class and while I helped run the 6^th grade party games, Scott made his rounds to all three classes. Noah begged me to help with his class party this year so it would be fun.... Because this was the last one of his elem. school career he wanted it to be a good one and so did his head room parent. They ended up combining all three classes for one big party in the cafeteria. I had a lot of fun with the bobbing head race and enjoyed laughing with the 6^th graders.

I've Been Told To Look At This As A Blessing...

As the non-custodial household in an almost 50/50 physical custody arrangement, I am happy to report that we have many moments of successful co-parenting. Unfortunately, we also have moments that make it clear to us where we (still) stand with the other household. I know some dual households who do nothing but fight because one side is always manipulating, planning, taking or requesting time from the other side and not being considerate. In the 5 years that we have been a family this hasn't really been an issue and I always felt that we were very accommodating when changes needed to be made.

If the other household is busy at the kids' book fair and can't bring the kids home at our scheduled time, we always "allow" for a late drop off. This usually occurs on a short weekend when we only get 21 hours with the boys anyway, so taking another hour away is a lot but in the grand scheme of life it's not a big deal...why fight over an hour?

When the other household wants us to drop the kids off at our normal drop off time but at a place that is almost an hour away, we do it without any complaints. Yes, we spend an extra 1.5 hours in the car and lose out on some quality time but we are still happy to oblige. In this case it was to drop the kids off at an event they had planned. Not a big deal because it was a kid thing...why fight over an hour and a half?

When the other household asks if one child can be dropped off a few hours late because he will be with his grandparents having an "adventure", we said yes. Even though our time with the boys is limited we understand that there are certain times when things come up and it's OK to say YES to those things. We feel it is important for the boys to have the opportunity to bond with each family member and sometimes that happens on our time. We know that this kind of event isn't going to happen every weekend and we have always been very easy to work with on changing the schedule.

Now, after 5 years of this give and take, we thought that we had a good relationship with the other household and that it wouldn't be a big deal to ask for an HOUR on a Monday afternoon so the boys could attend Grandma's OMC Patient of the Year reception. Apparently, we were wrong. While Scott and I were discussing the reception, Lucas heard us and wanted to know what event we were talking about. We told him about the nomination and how Grandma was going to be honored for her hard work during physical therapy. He asked if they could come to the party. We told him that it was on a Monday after school and that we would have to ask his mother first. Eli also chimed in and said he wanted to go too. We knew Noah would be unavailable because of Honor band but didn't think it would be a big deal for the other 2 to join us in supporting my mother, their bonus-grandma at her Patient of the Year reception. Why fight over an hour, right?

Scott emailed their mom our request and she responded AFTER she talked to the boys. When the boys got home from school she talked to them about this reception and magically, the boys no longer wanted to go...so she sent an email saying she talked to them and they didn't want to go. So, because THEY didn't want to go she wasn't going to allow it. End of discussion... Only it wasn't the end of the discussion for us. When the boys came back home on friday they heard us talking about it again. I had to rearrange my work schedule to be available to go and Grandma and I worked on pulling out some special pieces of pottery and paintings to take along. The dining room table was full of the special pieces and we talked about it again. Lucas said he was confused on what a reception was and once we told him it was a party to celebrate Grandma and her hard work he wanted to go again. Of course the cake and punch were tempting to him but we all talked about how it would support Grandma to be there. Eli said he wanted to be there but he was afraid he had Library Helper duty after school on Monday. So, they decided if Eli was available, he would like to go and Lucas wanted to go for sure...

So, Scott sent another email saying he had talked to the boys and they did want to go...but magically, once they got home again, and talked to their mom, they no longer wanted to go. Her email to us said that she talked to the boys AGAIN, and they didn't want to go so her answer was no. I was very hurt at this stupid exchange because it's my mom. I am the one who carried the burden of her illness for that very long year and I am still the one caring for her now. I know how hard she worked and Scott and I feel that she is an integral part of our family. We lived with her for 3 years and now she is living with us while she heals. Grandma has always been a part of our family and the kids missed her when we lived apart. I guess I was just hoping for a small show of respect, kindness or compassion when it came to my mom. I know without a shadow of a doubt, had it been a reception to honor the other Grandma, that the boys would be there. And had it been on our time we would have had no problem with them going.

I have to admit that her decision made me cry. I know that she didn't ask me to take care of her children but I do. I sacrifice my wants and even needs so these kids have shelter, food, clothes and love. My mother has sacrificed a lot for these kids as well and we were only talking about an hour of her time. Why fight over an hour right? I guess I was naive in thinking that after all the allowances that we make on our time for her family, that we would be shown the same kindness...but I guess I was wrong.

Scott and I went to the reception, took mom and her artwork and had a great time. We had several friends, doctors, nurses and aides stop in as well and we had a great afternoon. After the party we took mom out to eat and while we were there, Eli texted my phone. The very first thing he said was, "I'm sorry I couldn't be at Grandma's reception." I told him it was ok, that Grandma knew he loved her and that we loved him very much. Then Eli started texting Scott at the same time. We were having dual conversations.  We were both a little confused by Eli's apology because his mom said that he had said he didn't want to go to the party. Confused yet? Scott asked Eli if he said that and Eli said, "no, that's not true. I didn't say that." And because their mom told us that she felt we had put the boys "in the middle" by talking to them about the party BEFORE we asked her permission (rem. they asked us, not us asking them)...Scott asked Eli if he felt pressured to go to the party. Eli said yes. Then Eli said he felt pressured NOT TO GO TO THE PARTY from his mom. Why the HECK would you pressure a child NOT to go to a family event? Especially one that was celebrating a woman's fight for her life?

I texted Eli and apologized for any pressure he felt from either side. I also said I wasn't sure why he would be pressured NOT TO Go to the party and he said, "I Know!"...so after Scott apologized and we both kept texting Eli, Scott's phone rang...and it was their mom...and after a nice little heated discussion it FINALLY came out that she wasn't going to give up AN HOUR of her time for our family. Wow. There it is...out in the open...the truth comes out. Why fight about an hour right? A friend of mine told me that I could look at this as a blessing. Now, I know her heart. Now, I know how she really feels. Now, I know how she parents, who she supports and what she really thinks of our family unit. Now, I won't need to second guess her motives or her heart because it was made very clear to me...the dumb thing is...I am her biggest advocate in our home. I am the one who argues her side, tries to see the issues from her view point, and gives her the benefit of the doubt every freaking time. Scott tells me every time that it is no use...but I still try...and I am not sure if that makes me stupid, naive or forgiving...but I'm trying to look at this as a blessing...and now I know where we stand...

KCNursingNews.com - OMC names Rehab Patient of the Year

OMC names Rehab Patient of the Year

News

WRITTEN BY LINDA FRIEDEL, CONTRIBUTING WRITER

MONDAY, 04 OCTOBER 2010 08:00

Alex Bonham-Carter/Nursing News photo: Mary Hedrick embraces Michelle Shipley, a nurse practitioner with the Heart and Lung Surgeons at Olathe Medical Center on Monday, Sept. 20, 2010. The Olathe Medical Center acknowledged two patients for making outstanding progress in their rehabilitation. The hospital’s Rehabilitation Department honored Mary Hedrick and Fletcher Hart as Rehabilitation Patients of the Year at a reception last week. “Great recoveries and great people – we have two people with great recoveries,” Mark Dwyer, director of rehabilitation, said at the reception. “We like to recognize people that go above and beyond. We can see what’s possible. We can see the fruits of our labor.” Hedrick and Hart received physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy at the hospital’s Rehabilitation Department, Hedrick for congestive heart failure and Hart for a brain tumor. They received plaques and applause from family members, therapists and other staff members for their positive attitude and hard work. “They both represent what we stand for,” Dwyer said. “We’re happy you were able to achieve these things.” Hedrick had two open heart surgeries last year. In February 2009, she had a median sternotomy with mitral valve replacement and then in April she underwent an aortic and tricuspid valve repair. She had multiple thoracentesis procedures and chest tubes at least three times and a pacemaker changed once. She was in congestive heart failure repeatedly and in critical care at least six times. With her therapists’ help, Hedrick is able to walk without assistance and has returned to painting, sketching and creating pottery. “She keeps adapting and changing,” her daughter Dawnua Dawson, Kansas City, Mo., said. “She’s very spunky. That’s why she’s still here. She has that love of life.” Paula Rogers, RN, Gentiva Health Services, provided in-home care for Hedrick. She said Hedrick’s recovery was remarkable considering her numerous surgeries and setbacks. She credits Hedrick’s successful recovery to determination, perseverance, family support and Hedrick’s desire to remain independent. “She’s one heck of a lady,” Rogers said. “She’s never given up hope. She wants to get better. She wants to feel well.” Hedrick, a retired high school art teacher, said she felt honored to receive the award and appreciates the care she received from doctors, nurses and therapists. “They were all gentle with me and caring from the beginning,” she said. Hedrick said she never became discouraged. “I knew there had to be an end some day,” she said. “I have deep spiritual values. I believe my God was taking care of me.” Hart credits his supportive family and hard-working therapists with the improvements he’s made. He can occasionally walk without a cane and said he feels great today. “It’s an honor,” Hart said. After surgery in 2009 to remove a brain tumor, Hart lost his ability to swallow, talk and walk. Frustrated, the retired financial investigator initially wanted to die, but said after a dream and listening to his wife and son read 650 encouraging e-mails from friends and loved ones, he decided to live. Buddy Hart, Fletcher’s son, said his adventurous father loves hiking, camping and traveling. He said his father always told him life is like a book. “Some chapters are just better than others,” Buddy said.

He Melts My Heart

When Lucas worked with me at the Coffeehouse last Monday, he made a few Italian Soda's and they were delicious. He said he made the BEST soda's in town and my coworker asked him what his secret was...He said, "I can't tell you my secret!", but once the guy left he turned to me and said, "Mommy, do you know what my secret ingredient is? I make all my drinks with LOVE...that's why they taste so good and I really want to make one for you!"

 He really knows how to melt a momma's heart, doesn't he?

Haunted Houses & Brave Little Boys

When the boys first heard that we were going to get free tickets to the Haunted Houses...they ALL wanted to go....and they all wanted to bring a friend...so we planned a "haunted sleep over" for a Sunday night when crowds would be small and school was out on Monday. As the day got closer and closer Little Man was a little more nervous about going...and we told him he didn't have to go at all. We planned on getting movies for him to watch with his friend while Scott took the other 4 to the houses...but even up until the day of he said he was going....unless his friend didn't want to go...and when his little friend hung on to Scott while they came up OUR elevator...we decided it would be better for them to watch movies. Eli was excited and nervous about the thought of the Haunted Houses and his friend was the same...but one of his parents was a little more nervous about the experience and thought it would be better for him to wait till next year...and Eli (the sweet boy that he is) decided to stay home with his friend to watch movies with the 2 little ones...so that left Scott, Noah and his friend Alyx.

As brave as Noah acted, we could tell that he was getting a little more nervous as the day got closer...but Alyx was super excited to go...and that was all Noah needed to make the decision to go...

This is their BEFORE photo....

Our Haunted table with severed gummy body parts, cupcakes and all the junk food a kid could want...I even think Noah is giving me the evil eye! lol

Noah has bugs coming out of his mouth...

And Alyx lost his ear in the haunted house...

Eli and Estiban helped decorate the cupcake...

And tested a few as they went...

And then we had a knock at the door....it was The Rat Man...

This is before he has all the makeup on...but if you look close you can see a rat coming out of his jacket...

How about that? Isn't that disgusting? Ewww...

Here are all the boys with me right before I left for The Beast...

Here is their "after" shot...not sure why they look sad cause they loved it and begged us to go again...

Silly boys...they made Haunted Houses all morning for the 4 who couldn't go and they had a great time scaring each other at home.

Best Buds...

It turned out to be a great evening and they all had a great time. I think it might be easier to have 3 boys over at the same time because then you get it all over with at once! haha But then again, it seemed pretty easy for me because I left and went to work while Scott ran the party...so maybe that is the secret to an all boy sleep over! Either way....we all had a great time and the boys had lots of fun!

The Apple Fest

Scott introduced me to a great little town several years ago and we try to get back to Weston as often as we can. It is a great little destination that currently needs a coffeehouse! Anyway, we have always enjoyed the Apple Fest and took our sweet Aunts when they visited back in 2005(?). We really wanted to go this year even though it fell on a super busy weekend....so we got up on Sunday morning for a special trip. *On a side note...this is the town/area where we think Scott got Lyme Disease. He used to walk at Weston State Park all the time and got a spider bite during a walk and started having symptoms soon after.* The weather was cool, clear and fallishly perfect!

We did the free park n ride to the fest and of course...the boys picked the back of the bus! Don't they look like the kind of boys who would sit at the back?

And here are the happy parents...trying to take a photo at the back of the bus where you feel every bump!

This is a pot of Apple Butter that was started at 4:30 that morning...and would cook until about 2pm...

Noah was picked to help stir that Apple Butter...

Eli was thinking about homemade rootbeer...can you tell?

This is a family favorite...it was sooo yummy!

We always get a bottle or two of the locally made Root Beer...YUM!

Aww....if you look close you can see me waving in this pic...

Caramel & Chocolate dipped apples.....

YUM!!!

The best photos are always the ones where we are eating...haha

Love my boys!!

We Survived....

...But Just Barely...And remember how I mentioned I am having a hard time being able to fit in eating? I finally weighed myself on Monday and I am down another 7 lbs from the last time I weighed. YAY! I no longer really eat a full meal...my meals have turned into mini meals that give me energy to get thru the next activity...and it really works great. And even though that has been a great bonus on this crazy work schedule...I can't wait till my coffeehouse/haunted house diet plan work schedule is over...

So, back to last weekend....the boys came home on friday and spent some bonding time with Scott while I went to work. I worked till 1am, got to bed by 2am and up by 7am to get to the coffeehouse. Lucas wanted to come to work with me last weekend and I let him sleep instead...so after my "But Mommy" lecture I planned on taking him with me this weekend...and wouldn't you know he was wide awake and waiting for me to get up on Saturday! He was so excited to be a barista again and couldn't wait to be able to help me. On saturday morning it is crazy busy at the Market so I wasn't sure how it was going to work but we managed to ease him into the routine. After he read his morning pages, had some breakfast and hot chocolate I let him do little things for us. He would run downstairs to get us napkins, bagels, cream cheese, cups, lids, water, pop and even carried 2 gallons of milk at a time! He was such a hard worker! He began to help me behind the counter too and would let me know when the coffee was getting low or when we needed to restock the lid/sugar table. Once he got the hang of it he would get the coffee beans, put them in the grinder and then do other things while he waited for the beans to be done....he was multitasking like a pro! I was just sooo proud of him! After our shift was over Seth tipped him 5 bucks and between the two of us we made $78 in tips!

While we were enjoying our busy coffee shop morning, the other boys were having a Dawson Boys Day Out...or so it seemed as that is how Scott answered the phone that morning. :) Scott took the boys out to lunch on their way to a JCCC class project. The boys were going to help Scott and his class clean up a stream somewhere in Johnson County. They all had a great time, fell in the stream a few times and came home wet and happy. Scott didn't bring the camera (thank goodness!) but the teacher was thrilled that the boys were there and took some pics for us...those are coming soon. While we were all out working, our friends Allan & Nathaniel were at our loft putting up drywall...and when we got home we were excited to see it mostly done! We only have one more wall, some half walls and some closets still to build and then Allan will help us finish up the drywall! And then I can paint, decorate and PUT THINGS AWAY! yay!!

Since Scott and the older boys were having a day out, Lucas and I decided to extend our morning together and after a hard days work we went out to lunch at a local Vietnamese restaurant. The great thing about the Rivermarket is that it's like the Ethnic Festival all year long. We love that! Lucas tried his hand at speaking Vietnamese when we were ordering and we decided NOT to walk on the wild side and got a very safe fried rice with BBQ pork and chicken. We ordered fresh spring rolls which are one of my favorites and we even tried a Vietnamese Iced Coffee...It was super, super strong and Lucas managed one sip while I finished it up knowing I was going to need more caffeine. We strolled around the Rivermarket after lunch and bought some fresh groceries, spices and honey sticks before we headed home. I just love hanging out with this Little Man and hearing his thoughts and impressions on his surroundings! He loves every little detail and loves to people watch too. We had a great day together!

More on the weekend tomorrow....

Wish US Luck

We have a very busy weekend planned and I thought I should just make an appearance while I was still able. There is one good thing in all the busyness...as the more I work, the less time I have to eat and the more weight I lose. yay....and it has been a great reminder that FOOD IS FOR ENERGY...since I don't have much time to eat, I eat things that I know will get me thru the next 7 hours of work...and I can't overeat (no time) and I don't eat junk (cause Ill just crash) so it has been a good lesson for me. Food is my friend...not my enemy. :)

My mom is battling increased pain and her last ultrasound showed abnormalities with her pancreas. App. the symptoms of pancreatitis are very similar to her shingle pain/discomfort as well as congestive heart failure...so we are waiting to hear back about a GI specialist. She is miserable and when the pain hits, it takes her breath away and she often cries. The increased pain causes increased confusion and some days she has a really hard time finding the right words to use...though I can usually interpret pretty well. It has been 7 months since the 2nd open heart surgery and we are both ready to get beyond this...

Last weekend our friend Nathaniel came to our house for 2 days and worked on building us some walls. Fortunately for him, he got a "real, paying" job that day and started Monday...so he will be back at it this Saturday. He built and I helped him put up, walls for the music room, garage and bedrooms. The loft is going to look so different when the walls are up, drywalled and finished. How exciting! And Nathaniel is doing the work as a gift. How sweet is that? My next big project will be finding and making more paint to get this place ready for winter. I can't wait to have closets, storage and a place for everything! This "mess" is driving me crazy....I need organization...

This weekend I get to add on another night of work and starting next week I "get" to work Thur, Fri, Sat & Sun nights...and I got to open at the coffeehouse on Thru and Sat too...This whole 3 part time job thing is exhausting! Especially when I get the teeny tiny pay checks and know that my degree is worth so much more...if I could just find that full time job....This weekend will be extra busy because I am working 3 nights and Sat. morning while Scott has to do a school project. He is taking the 2 older boys with him to clean a stream and the teacher is excited to have them along. On Sunday we are trying to fit in a visit to the Apple Fest in a local tourist town before we head off to pick up 3 little boys to spend the night with our boys...We are having a Haunted House party with severed gummy body parts cup cakes (every boys dream, right?) before Scott ventures out to 2 of the haunted houses with 4 boys...Im guessing the 2 little ones won't be ready for it...so they will stay home with grandma for a movie or two.

And once I take all the boys home on Monday it will be time for me to work my 6 hour shift at the coffeehouse....so it's looking like Tues/Wed is my weekend! So, with all that is going on this weekend...wish us luck! :) Have a great weekend and enjoy this BEAUTIFUL fall weather!