R E S P E C T

Today ended a very long 2 weeks for us...we hadn't seen the kids since last year(!!) because our half of the holiday came during the first part of their break and then they started back to school last Monday...that made it 2 whole weeks and entirely too long to go without hugs and kisses! We talked on the phone and they enjoyed 3 snow days and got to come home early on Friday. Yeah!

Tonight as we fit as many people as we could in the smallest amount of space, cuddled on the couch (they must have missed us...), I got to have a great conversation with Eli. He looked at me with his beautiful brown eyes and said, "I don't think people respect me." I told him that I respected him...and after a huge grin we had a great conversation. We have talked about this subject before and he is becoming sensitive to what that really means. He had an incident with a cousin that really upset him and after he felt like he had used his words (we are big on them using their words to communicate rather than throwing a fit...) and his message was not being received...he locked himself in the bathroom. This only led to more frustration for him as his cousin kept trying to get in the bathroom and each time Eli would lock the door, the cousin would unlock and open the door...apparently it wasn't pretty. He said he was upset because he felt he needed to be alone but the offending person would not listen and that made him feel like the cousin didn't respect him....

I was proud that this awesome 9 yr. old could recognize respect and a lack of respect even if it was coming from someone close to his age. We talked about family and kids and how his cousin may feel and how he may not even be aware of how to show this to others his age. It's kind of a strange thing to think about respect when it comes to people your own age. It is easy to think about respecting your elders, grandparents, pastors and leaders but not so easy when it applies to your generation. In our home, we want to emphasize loving one another and one way we can do that is by respect. Everyone in our family can show respect by their words, actions and even their thoughts and that led us to write out some family house rules. Most of these came from the kids.

Kids Space Rules
Make your bed
Brush your teeth.
Turn off all lights, fans & radios when you leave the room.
Do not wake up your siblings.
This is a safe zone - no bullying allowed.
RESPECT each other & their space.
Which FRUIT will you choose today?

Family House Rules
RESPECT: given to everyone.
INTEGRITY: doing the right thing when no one is looking.
Leave all rooms better than you found it. (I admit, this is mine)
Eat 1 healthy snack per day.
Get 30-60 minutes of exercise per day.
No biting sarcasm that hurts feelings.
Choose one fruit to practice a day.

Adults specifically- Speak in a calm voice when you are upset.
Kids specifically- Obey the first time.
Be consistent with Lady Bug.

After we went over our list we figured that respect would almost cover all the rules because it can apply to so many areas in our lives. I hate it that Eli felt disrespected but I am glad that a real life experience brought about an amazing conversation and the opportunity to give him tools for coping with future situations. These kids are amazing....what a great testament to some good parenting on all sides!