Parental Alienation by Joel R. Brandes
Parental Alienation was recently described as a situation where one parent intentionally attempts to alienate his or her child from the other parent, by poisoning his mind, and usually succeeds....Its primary manifestation is the child's unjustified campaign of denigration against a parent. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent's indoctrinations and the child's own contributions to the vilification of the parent.
...We believe that inducing parental alienation in a child is a form of child abuse, which should be punishable as abuse under the Family Court Act. Moreover, a parent who alienates a child against the other parent should be denied visitation with all of his or her children until the child is no longer alienated against the target parent.
...Parental alienation has been recognized in New York custody cases since the 1980s, when it was held that a custodial parent's interference with the relationship between a child and a noncustodial parent is "an act so inconsistent with the best interests of the child as to per se raise a strong probability that the offending party is unfit to act as a custodial parent."
...The Family Court acknowledged that New York cases have not discussed PAS as a theory, but have discussed the issue in terms of whether the child has been programmed to disfavor the noncustodial parent, thus warranting a change in custody.
...The court accepted the testimony of the mental health professionals to the extent that they indicated that the mother alienated the children from the father. It found that the children would have no relationship with the father if left in the custody of their mother, and that they would continue to be psychologically damaged if they remained living with her. Their negative view of their father was out of all proportion to reality. The court found that the mother had succeeded in causing parental alienation of the children from their father, such that they not only wished to cease having frequent and regular visitation, but actually desired to have nothing to do with him. It awarded sole custody to him and suspended her right to visitation.
The court did not specifically base its decision on a finding of PAS. Instead, it relied on the case law, which requires the custodial parent to nurture the child's relationship with the noncustodial parent, and ensures access by the noncustodial parent,(10) pointing out that interfering with the child's "relationship with the noncustodial parent, has been said to be so inconsistent with the child's best interest as to per se raise a strong probability of unfitness."(11)
Wow....
5 comments:
that is interesting...and harsh!
Just to clarify for me, are the 3 boys your stepchildren too? I was curious why the PA doesn't seem to affect them like the daughter.
Wow.
:D
If only... sigh...
I agree it is harsh but on the other hand, so is manipulating your child to the point they don't want a relationship with one parent. Not a bad, neglectful parent but a loving, involved parent. THey actually call it child abuse!
The 3 boys are bonuses as well but we have 2 BM's in our blended situation. BM1 with BD and BM2 with 3 boys. BM2 has changed a lot since their sep/divorce and while she initially fought my DH on the time he wanted with his boys, she has improved greatly. She once asked him why he was fighting so hard for the boys but she seems to do a better job of supporting my DH's relationship with the boys than BM1 does with BD.
It's not enough just to allow the relationship between noncustodial and child, you are supposed to encourage it, strengthen it and make it happen. BM1 had never told BD that DADDY was more important than church and her actions and gripes have always told her different. When my husband was in treatment 2xs a day, 6 hours a day, 7 days a week, BM1 got upset that we no longer went to church. Before that my DH had been a worship pastor at several churches and was very involved. When he became too sick to participate and treatment happened during our church time, the BM1 told BD that it didn't matter, we needed to find a way to get to church if we were "christians" but she also tends to believe that my DH is sick because of sin and that if we would just cast those demons out he wouldn't be sick anymore.
Sooooo, I think I rambled on a bit more than was necessary but now you get the idea. The boys LOVELOVELOVE their daddy and even when they have experienced manipulation from grandparents, they don't respond the way the hater wanted them to. It actually causes them to run to us even more. They have great relationships with BOTH of their parents and they are healthier children because of it...now if we could just get that for BD so she could be a little more balanced in how she views the world.
Chapmans- Why can't you guys get anything enforced thru the courts?
thanks for that explanation! I'm so sorry you missed the elephants.
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