comfortable with who you are

Have you ever had someone try to take you down on their way out?  I experienced this last week at work and then saw it attempted on our home front too. Both attempts were silly, futile and pathetic.

A vendor I have used on and off for the last 12 years had moved to a broker only position and while I was trying to send her business to help her rebuild after bankruptcy, the quality of her contracted work was suffering. Our turn around times were getting longer and longer with projects needing to be reprinted because of quality. There was a price issue and overall, the amount of time spent on our account was becoming less and less while our company was getting busier and busier. It was becoming quite a problem and when I let this vendor know that we would be moving part of our business elsewhere, she responded unprofessionally, burned a long standing bridge, lied and tried to take me down with her. It was eye opening to say the least. But more importantly, it didn't work.

As for the home front these attempts are nothing new but are embarrassing for me to hear about, witness and experience. When you spend so much time connected to a person, whether professionally or personally, whether wanted or unwanted, you learn a lot about them. You typically see these "people" at some of their worst times. Whether you want it to or not, information gets passed along and a picture of your life is built using these snapshots of life. It's not necessarily a pretty picture. I have seen several moments of desperation followed by over the top, inappropriate interactions that indicate deep resentment and anger. You only get angry if you care what someone thinks, right? That pretty much applies to every interaction in life.

There really should come a time in your life when you are comfortable with who you are. When you have given up tantrums, manipulation, victim mentalities and destructive actions. When you know that what you are doing is the right thing for your kids, spouse, family, coworkers and employer. When what you do when no one is looking is just the same as when the world is watching. When you exhibit genuine empathy to those who are hurting, when you put your selfishness aside and give what is most needed to those you love. Once you become comfortable with who you are, you can give more of yourself without fear of rejection or loss. You don't have to be afraid that you are LOSING or that you need to one up someone in the competition you insist isn't there....you can finally be free to love and be loved. That bitterness that you hold so dear is killing you. 12 years, 9 years or even 9 days is too long to allow anger, frustration, bitterness and depression to control you.

When you know who you are then silly attempts to take you down are futile. They are pathetic, silly and sad to watch. Manipulation and fear tactics will never win. Those who practice that will always get stuck in the mire and muck and remain there while you pass them by. I am finally in a place professionally and personally that I have long awaited. I am comfortable in who I am at work (and I kick butt at work!) and who I am at home. I know who I love, who loves me and what is best for my family at the end of the day. I am right where I want and need to be....whether you like it or not.