Eli's Decade Celebration

For Eli's Decade celebration we did ten special things.....

1. Family dinner made by Chef Daddy - The menu consisted of grilled chicken, salad & mashed potatoes.
2. Birth Day breakfast with Daddy & Mommy at First Watch where we had some amazing Banana granola chocolate chip pancakes.
3. Made special cheesecake brownie cupcakes together.
4. Went to Deerfield Beach (on Sat. night during spring break) with Daddy & Mommy for special surfing lessons and one on one time.
5. Went back to Deerfield Beach, rented a beginner surfboard and surfed again on Monday morning for 4 hours.
6. Got a shark bite necklace.
7. Got a real Shark's jaw as a souvenir.
8. 
9. 
10. Dinner with just Daddy & Mommy (by special request)

Happy Birthday Eli!

We can hardly believe it but it's true...Eli is 10! Happy Birthday Eepy Jeepy! As part of his DECADE CELEBRATION we have started our list of 10 birthday "things". We started his list on Friday with daddy making him a special family dinner of grilled chicken, salad and mashed potatoes and we had a great family dinner. We spent the night watching our favorite shows and cuddling on the couch.

On Sunday, Daddy and I took him to breakfast at First Watch where I introduced him to Banana granola chocolate chip pancakes...YUM! And we got to spend some quiet one on one time with him. 

That afternoon we went shopping for Eli's school birthday treats and decided to make cheesecake brownie cupcakes...of course we made extra so we could try them out and they were yummy! Lucas helped us make the cream cheese center and then we all made designs in the cream cheese. We have NEVER had an opportunity to make any school birthday treats so it was an extra special treat for us.

Eli was our official brownie batter taste tester...he approved!

This morning when Eli woke up he found his birthday present and had it opened before we were even out of bed! Since we are celebrating his birthday after we move to the loft, he only got the one gift today and decided to wear his new outfit to school. We made the boys a hot breakfast and sang Happy Birthday to Eli again...it will probably happen 10 times by the time we are done celebrating too! :)

After a few hours of work at the loft, we rushed back to Eli's school for his birthday celebration. We brought the brownie cupcakes and drinks and spent 20 minutes or so watching Alvin and the Chipmunks, the Squeakquel. The kids were dancing to the music and it was quite amusing.

 

Here is Eli with his best buddy...celebrating at school.

Eli, Daddy and I are SO proud of you. You have demonstrated some amazing character traits this year and we are constantly amazed by your generous heart and loving spirit. Thank you for showing kindness to EVERYONE and for not being afraid to love, laugh, dance and make a difference. You are an amazing son and WE LOVE YOU!

Haunted Houses & Dumpster Diving

I know, I know...what do Haunted Houses and Dumpster Diving have to do with each other...and why am I talking about Haunted Houses in May? Well, we have made a big life decision that includes us moving to a new neighborhood where it is accurate to say that we live near The Edge of Hell and down the street from The Beast...and while that sounds terrifying it is actually an artsy, creative, unique home. Since I was laid off 5 months ago it has become quite difficult to continue our current lifestyle (beautiful cape cod house in a beautiful neighborhood) and we have been searching for a cheaper place to live. We found a listing for some Warehouse Live/work space in the West Bottoms and after looking thru several different spaces we picked the perfect one...which will save us almost $1000 a month in living expenses! With 7 people in our home right now, we needed a large space so we thought a 4500 sq ft loft would be just the right amount of home for our 4 kids, 2 puppies and grandma!

Since our budget is very small, we have been VERY creative with our space. We have been inspired by a new fav. show that uses "freecycling" to create an artsy, unique and functional space...and the kids have really embraced the recycling attitude. Our little suburb had its bulk pick up day a few weeks ago and we decided to go "Dumpster Diving"! I know, sounds awful doesn't it? In our case...there were no dumpsters involved but we did have an exciting night driving around the streets, with all the other "recyclers" looking for treasures! We have picked up several priceless objects and are incorporating them into our new loft. I even raided Grandma's basement for paint, trim, tools and other miscellaneous treasures. We have acquired sinks, bathroom cabinets, a mirror, tile, paint, several doors and other little goodies. It has turned into a great learning experience for us and the kids are learning a lot about recycling, waste, reducing our waste and creativity...I guess when you don't have very much money it is good to be creative!

Since we have some extra coffeehouse equipment we are using that for our kitchen and we are very excited to be living in a coffeehouse! We will have an industrial type kitchen with a 3 compartment sink, stainless steel tables, shelves, hanging pendant lights and a new corrugated metal ceiling! We have a beautiful view of downtown and windows on three sides of the building. We have maple floors (that I have spent 2.5 weeks sanding), huge windows, huge wooden columns and exposed brick walls. It is A TON of work but we think the end result will be beautiful and unique...plus the monthly savings are just what we need right now. We hope to start moving next weekend so we will post lots of photos once it is finished...but for now...here are a few teaser shots.

Aren't they a cute bunch of dirty kids? They are great workers and have been big helpers during this process...but man do they know how to get dirty!

May is Lyme Disease Awareness Month!

Every year during May, I have big plans to educate my readers/friends/family on Lyme Disease...because May is Lyme Disease Awareness Month...did you know that? And every year May rushes in and it takes me 2 weeks to realize that it's here...and almost over....so I never get done what I had hoped to accomplish...sigh...BUT, I finally got two NEW Lyme Disease shirts designed and on our CAFE PRESS store...so feel free to purchase one, two, ten or twenty of each! You can see the shirts at our LYME BLOG or go directly to www.cafepress.com/LymiesUnite to check out our other shirts, hats, mugs and bags.

The Chronicles of Aslan....

I have always loved C. S. Lewis and have read many of his writings. One of my favorites has always been the Chronicles of Narnia...and of course the beautiful, powerful Aslan...and now we have our very own Aslan...

The animal rescue lady told us that we could imprint our "smell" into Aslan's memory because puppies remember the first 2,000 smells or so...so she taught us how to put our thumbs on the top of his mouth to "mark" our puppy...

Eli is VERY proud to present his baby....little baby Aslan...a St. Bernard/Great Pyrenees puppy...Eli rescued him on April 10th from an animal rescue in Missouri. When we brought him home he was only 5 weeks old and hadn't even started eating real food yet...and when he opened his mouth to bark...there was no sound...but he was a rolly, polly, ball of fluff and we all fell instantly in love! He crawled under the seats in the van and slept all the way home and only weighed 8 lbs...and the next week he weighed 12 lbs...and the next week 18lbs...and the next 22 lbs....and I think you can see where we are going with this. His parents were 130 and 150...so we will have a big boy on our hands...

Here is Eli with his new baby...rescued with his lawn mowing allowance...I think it means more when you save a puppy as opposed to shopping for a puppy. I also love the personalities of mixed breeds! They really make the best pets!

Since we made the decision to move last month we thought it was a good idea to get a big dog for our new neighborhood...thinking he would be a great guard dog...and while I think he will be....he is currently a lover and not a fighter...he doesn't like loud noises...hides behind Lady Bug or between your feet if he is scared...or the smallest space he can manage to get his big ole booty in to... He still makes baby noises when you pick him up and he will lay his head on your shoulder to cuddle for a few minutes before he tries to wiggle away. His booty (haunches) are so big that he is a little bottom heavy and it is quite entertaining to watch him try to back up or even jump up. He is still cute and fuzzy but growing every day! We taught him how to sit his first week home and within 2 weeks he was ringing the "potty" bells. It has been harder to train him because Lady Bug wants to show us that she knows all the commands and she gets a little jealous but so far he is doing pretty good. I have decided it is harder to train boys than girls and we have another stubborn, smart puppy on our hands.

The boys' like to compare their pups (they have 3 between the 2 houses) and the different characters and "smarts" in each one. They are shocked at the differences in training and behavior but if you are not consistent it will kill ALL of your training. I have decided you must first TRAIN your KIDS before you can successfully TRAIN your PUP! Eli has begged us to let him bring his baby to his other house during the week but I convinced him that wouldn't be fair to his mom. Because Aslan grows so much during the week I send him pics so he can keep up with all the exciting milestones. Eli likes to say that Aslan has his eyes and his personality! They are best buddies and he does an amazing job taking care of him. There is no question that the kids LOVE their puppies even with all their differences in personalities.

 I now have 6 children to take care of....wow....

A Very Honest Post

So, I just wrote a really long post about our "joint household" frustration and missing the boys' Field Day...but after angrily typing for 10 minutes...I think it is probably best NOT to post it. Suffice it to say, we were told Field Day was cancelled, by all 3 boys but found out today that they actually did have it. My heart hurts because we missed it. Not because we are competing on what parent attends what event...but because it is fun, we enjoy it and the boys like us to be there. As a bonus mom, I am tired of trying so hard. I am tired of showing kindness when all I get in return is a cold shoulder unless something is wanted of me. I am not that kind of person and would never "not" share activity details because it wasn't my responsibility to do so...I have shared info many times just to be sure it was known. I am sad that this is where we are after 5 years. I am frustrated at the superficialness of it all. I am not a fake person and I can't pretend someone doesn't exist just because they are the "bonus" or the "x". My focus is the kids and no matter how we are treated, I will continue to love them and help create an emotionally healthy environment for them. We won't teach them to be fake but to show kindness in all areas...uncomfortable or not.

Happy Mother's Day!

Thank you for all of the sweet fb and text messages wishing me Happy Mother's Day today. The boys made my day by calling to say, Happy Mother's Day (thank you) and Scott and I spent most of the day doing "loft" things. Mom is still feeling horrible and spent most of her day in bed. :( Her shingles are at the painful stage and they "stab" her 2-5 times a day. When the pain hits it knocks the breath out of her, she cries, cringes and holds her breath and all of that is causing her to lose her appetite. My poor mom is a miserable lady right now.

My brother Gary sent mom a gorgeous white flower arrangement and then we brought mom some flowers from her own garden. She loves her home in the country, loves to garden and loves her flowers...so since she couldn't enjoy it this year we brought her garden to her. She is so gracious, even in the midst of her pain and she lights up when we talk about the loft. She is so creative and with 7 rentals to keep up, she has become a renaissance woman. She likes to talk about the different materials we can reuse or create and that seems to help her get thru some of her days.

I have been focused on my mother for the past 13 months and I have learned many valuable lessons along the way. I have learned more about her personality, heart, sweet spirit, funny bone and personal quirks than I have ever known before. Many things I knew but I didn't KNOW...I have been by her side almost every single day for this entire heart saga and I have cried buckets of tears. I have mourned the loss of her life (as she knew it), mourned a pace maker (I know, strange.), cried with her, laughed with her, tried to comfort her, rejoiced with her and encouraged her...and in many respects we have switched roles this year. I have been the one who has been consistent, encouraging, strong willed, stubborn and flexible. I have taken all the things that I have learned from my mother in the past 32 years and made them my own. I have embraced her strengths and done my best to meet her needs.

I have experienced fear more this year than ever before, been on my knees begging God for her precious life and making myself sick with worry over her life. In my heart I knew (and know) that God loves her more than I do and He is the giver of LIFE. If it was HIS will for her to be here then she would be here...but that is so much easier to say...and in that struggle I was broken, became more aware of my weaknesses and adamant on showing the kids God's love, mercy, grace and faith... This year has really given me that opportunity to provide that safe shelter in the storm for her healing and recovery. I discovered strengths that I did not know I had...and was reminded of the strong woman who had taught me so much.

Sometimes I have those moments where I say something and then pause....as I realize that is SO something my mom would say...and I cringe...and then there are those moments when I realize that is SO what my mother would say and I am proud. Mom, you are one remarkable woman who has surprised me (and so many others) this past year with your strength, determination and spirit. You have taught me about love, life and Jesus your entire life and I am so THANKFUL that you are still here to teach me more. I love you!

Eli's Favorite Activities: Dancing & Creative Writing

Here it is Sunday night and another week has flown by. This week was busier than last week and I haven't even finished blogging about that one yet! My sweet hubby flew back on Wednesday and I was soo happy to see him. He is such a sweetheart and we texted all week long but there is nothing like a hug from him to melt my worries away. PLUS... I really like him! :)

We were at the school several times this week in between planning our loft project, business meetings, job interviews and taking care of mom. On Thursday Eli had his long awaited Road Rally performance sponsored by the KC Ballet. The Reach Out And Dance curriculum relates dance to geography, math, and other classroom subjects. They incorporate dance moves into learning and the kids learn confidence, have fun and get to perform at the end of the year. Since I had a job interview at the same time I had to miss it but luckily I watched him rehearse last week when I was at the school. Eli is a natural dancer and boogies all over our house...all the time....for entertainment, for a laugh, for candy, for encouragement...you name it. I think he gets his sunshiny character and sassy dance moves from his sweet daddy. :)

Good Job Eli! I think Road was great for your self confidence cause you are no longer that shy little 4th grader that I remember from last August....hahahahahah

Eli was the star this week because we got to see him two times while at school. The boys constantly ask for more time with us and now that Scott isn't getting "chemo" like therapy 6 hours a day we can sneak over to the school during his good moments. The boys LOVE it when daddy shows up! On Friday, we went to Eli's 4th Grade Writers Tea to hear him read a few of his creative writing pieces. That boy has one great imagination!

My favorite story was called, "My Success", and it showcased quite the imagination...My favorite lines were, "A bad attitude tastes like bad milk. It feels like some slimy alien eyeball type thing." Also, "Pride is as big as the Pacific Ocean. It acts like a smile(y) face. A good attitude is as big as the universe with 10 million planets. It acts like a giant wave." Great Job Eli! You are so smart and take after your daddy!

Those Amazing Parenting Moments

One of the things I have learned about parenting is that it can often be a thankless job. While my husband thanks me, appreciates me and willingly helps me.....the kids usually have to be reminded. Two of the four kids volunteer on a regular basis and we make a game out of chores but for the most part they are all very willing to help when I ask.

Even better than willing hearts are those moments when you realize that your kids LISTEN to you and FOLLOW your advice. We are big on communication at our house. The kids have never thrown tantrums and we have always taught them to use their words. Early on, they loved it when we would demonstrate a tantrum and see if they could interpret what we wanted by the sound of our whines, grunts and growls. If they were tired and headed towards a whinefest-tantrum-meltdown this usually averted the train wreck and we could talk about what they wanted/needed/felt. They all can have their moments when they are tired but they really do very well at communicating...and I'm not just saying that cause I helped make them that way. :)

Today, Eli told me about one of those moments and it made me cry. Eli is just like his daddy...genuine, empathetic, loyal, sweet, big heart, caring, funny and intelligent. We have some great moments and in the past two weeks he has asked for some special one-on-one time with me. We usually take a walk with the puppies and talk about life. He has had some girl issues lately and during our walk he opened up about an incident that happened with some of his friends and how his best(girl)friend misunderstood who had said what. He was upset that she would think he would say "such-n-such" and he really missed his best friend. Now, we had talked about this before but this time we talked more about her and what she must be feeling. I thought she was embarrassed and that had turned into frustration....which manifested itself as giving Eli dirty looks.

You might remember my favorite book, "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs. It is a fantastic book and I have used its principals in my marriage and in parenting. Eli and I have talked a lot about Love and Respect, boys and girls and how God made us different. We discussed that his best friend probably did not feel very loved when she heard about the conversation (not that I am promoting 4th grade love), which hurt and that made her mad. Eli then compounded the problem by telling her she was playing Basketball wrong. You have to love a guy who at 9 is already trying to "fix" our problems and even though his heart was in the right place...she didn't take it very well! This week he tried a different approach. This week he took my advice and apologized to her at recess. He told her that he was sorry she was embarrassed by the conversation and he was sorry for telling her she played basketball wrong. He said, "I'm sure it didn't make you feel very loved to have me tell you, you were doing it wrong and I'm sorry." THIS MADE ME CRY! He said that she opened up right away and said that he was right. That apology led to a conversation about her family and how they make her feel. He was so happy that his best friend was talking to him again and I was SOOO PROUD that my 9 year old had listened, communicated and done the right thing. He has had many of these moments at school this year and I am just so proud of who he is. So, So, PROUD!

Brookside Art Festival, Robots and Art

There were hundreds of booths with some awesome art! I love that about KC.

Our busy week (which someday I will finish blogging about) ended in a nice, artsy weekend. I took the kids to the Brookside Art Festival where we spent a couple hours wandering thru the outdoor tent admiring local and regional artwork. We saw some amazing things and we were all inspired to make some art. Since there is a warehouse in our future (more on that later) we are pretty excited about the art studio we can set up. One of our favorite booths had Robots made of junk...spoons, forks, nuts, bolts, bike handles, pots and other kitchen accessories. They were awesome! We decided that we wanted to make our own so when Autumn and I went back again that night...we took a photo to help us get started.

Aren't they adorable? They look like they came out of the movie Robots and I am so excited to see what we can create!

After the boys left, Autumn and I went back to check out all the other booths we had missed earlier. We took the new puppy the first time around and were stopped every two minutes...because they all LOVED him....did I mention we have a new puppy yet? Hmmm, must be one of those things I need to blog about! Anyway, we spent another 3 hours being inspired and having a girls night out. We rented a movie, got dessert, made hot wings for a midnight snack (her idea- made daddy proud!) and had a great time with Grandma. We got to sleep in on Sunday (except for me and the puppies getting up at 5:30 and 7:30), watched another great movie, started packing and even made it to the Y. I really enjoy my special time with the kids and love it when they open up about life. Being a bonus mom can be very rewarding...

Marriages and Baggage

My husband flew to Florida last week for his sister's wedding. With prepping, packing and delivering him to the airport, I thought a lot about, "baggage". We all have it. We cling to it out of fear, using it as a life preserver that ironically just pulls us down. We hide it. We repackage it to cover its ugliness and hope no one looks under the bow. There are some people who are proud of their baggage and stand on it to proclaim their victim status. They like the attention that their "hardships" bring them and they just can't break free from the attachment. Family and friends eat this up and continue the cycle by referencing the baggage and how far they have come...it seems like we just can't leave our baggage at home...or better yet...have it lost during flight...

When I chose to become a bonus parent I knew that there were some carry on items we were going to be dealing with but I wasn't prepared for what I did with his baggage. Before we were married we discussed EVERYTHING...and I do mean everything. I know all of the struggles, hardships, frustrations, manipulations and deceit that occurred during his marriage...on both sides and I find myself struggling with some of these things. I find myself having a hard time forgiving people who hurt my husband and the four kids I now love. Is that crazy? I have a hard time forgiving physical abuse, emotional abuse, manipulation, hurtful words, hurtful actions and even parental alienation. I know I wasn't there for these events but I know how they affected my husband. I have even seen how some of those events continue to affect my husband (after 15 yrs) and that in turn affects me....and I subconsciously took his baggage and made it my own.

In the midst of my frustrations I can see that I am angry about circumstances that I had and have no control over. In struggling to forgive, I can see that dwelling on the past is not healthy and even if hearts had never changed...it would be best to forgive them. I have learned the most out of life when I humble myself and accept the grace, mercy and forgiveness that God offers me and in knowing how much I have been forgiven...it is only right to offer that same forgiveness to others. I think this forgiveness thing may need to be a daily process though because it is scary to let your guard down when you don't trust someones actions or intentions and you assume the worst...but again...I have no control over anyone else but me...and I don't need or want extra baggage. So, if you see me skipping down the sidewalk this summer it is because I am light as a feather and have left OUR baggage at the terminal!

Eli's Strings Concert

On Thursday morning I chaperoned for OPE's 4th, 5th & 6th grade Strings classes and took them to their early morning rehearsal. And by take them I mean I rode the bus with them. :) There were about 400 hundred students from the SM school district playing in the Strings concert and the whole music program is just amazing! It was great to help with the setup and then watch the schools practice for the first time together. The 4th graders did an outstanding job listening, waiting and practicing.

I mouthed to Eli (during rehearsal) that I was texting Daddy so he gave me a great big smile to send to Florida.

 Later that night, we watched the Elem. Beginning Strings (Eli), Elem. Advanced Strings, West Strings, Combined Westridge Orchestras, Combined West Area Orchestras, Symphonic Strings and their Philharmonic Orchestra perform for an hour. I just love hearing the progression from each level. The HS group was outstanding! We noticed a lot of crossover from the Tuesday night concert. There were a lot of HS students in the band, jazz band and philharmonic orchestra. Eli has plans to switch to the bass next year and we had an opportunity to see those huge things up close. It was a great concert and this time Noah helped me take the photos. Since Scott couldn't be there for this concert, I recorded some video so he wouldn't miss out. It was a great performance!

There was a tricky part to the very last performance when they were ending the, "March from 'Carmen'"....the kids were to play the bow from end to tip 3 times and continue the long stroke back out to the tip and end with raising their bow. Eli and I practiced all morning and several times before the performance. He was so nervous that he was going to mess it up but after several practice shots...he was dead on and ended it perfectly! Great job Eli! Daddy and I are so proud of all you have learned and accomplished in Strings!

Noah's 5th grade band concert

We had such a busy week full of music, concerts, field trips, art, puppies, early morning potty breaks and some of us flying to florida,..but since I am here to update the blog you can guess who went to the beach and who stayed home....

Tuesday night was Noah's big night and we enjoyed a 70 minute band concert by the 5th, 6th, J.H. and H.S. bands. Noah looked nice and sharp in his dress clothes and all of his practicing paid off. He did a great job and the group sounded fantastic. It was neat to see the progression from 5th grade on...and the HS band and Jazz band was just amazing! Lucas took most of our photos and it was so good to get to talk to him, hug him and laugh with him during the week. Eli sat with us before the concert and then went back to sit with his mom so she wouldn't be alone. He is very sweet and considerate. We just love being able to see them during the week!

You did a great job Noah and we are very proud of you!

Congrats Aunt Deannie and Uncle Mike!

Since daddy was in Florida playing and singing in Aunt Deannie's wedding...we decided to celebrate their big day with an ice cream cake. It even looked like a mini wedding cake! Happy Wedding Aunt Deannie and Uncle Mike! Welcome to the family Mike, Sydney and Sierra! We can't wait to see you again!