Those Amazing Parenting Moments

One of the things I have learned about parenting is that it can often be a thankless job. While my husband thanks me, appreciates me and willingly helps me.....the kids usually have to be reminded. Two of the four kids volunteer on a regular basis and we make a game out of chores but for the most part they are all very willing to help when I ask.

Even better than willing hearts are those moments when you realize that your kids LISTEN to you and FOLLOW your advice. We are big on communication at our house. The kids have never thrown tantrums and we have always taught them to use their words. Early on, they loved it when we would demonstrate a tantrum and see if they could interpret what we wanted by the sound of our whines, grunts and growls. If they were tired and headed towards a whinefest-tantrum-meltdown this usually averted the train wreck and we could talk about what they wanted/needed/felt. They all can have their moments when they are tired but they really do very well at communicating...and I'm not just saying that cause I helped make them that way. :)

Today, Eli told me about one of those moments and it made me cry. Eli is just like his daddy...genuine, empathetic, loyal, sweet, big heart, caring, funny and intelligent. We have some great moments and in the past two weeks he has asked for some special one-on-one time with me. We usually take a walk with the puppies and talk about life. He has had some girl issues lately and during our walk he opened up about an incident that happened with some of his friends and how his best(girl)friend misunderstood who had said what. He was upset that she would think he would say "such-n-such" and he really missed his best friend. Now, we had talked about this before but this time we talked more about her and what she must be feeling. I thought she was embarrassed and that had turned into frustration....which manifested itself as giving Eli dirty looks.

You might remember my favorite book, "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs. It is a fantastic book and I have used its principals in my marriage and in parenting. Eli and I have talked a lot about Love and Respect, boys and girls and how God made us different. We discussed that his best friend probably did not feel very loved when she heard about the conversation (not that I am promoting 4th grade love), which hurt and that made her mad. Eli then compounded the problem by telling her she was playing Basketball wrong. You have to love a guy who at 9 is already trying to "fix" our problems and even though his heart was in the right place...she didn't take it very well! This week he tried a different approach. This week he took my advice and apologized to her at recess. He told her that he was sorry she was embarrassed by the conversation and he was sorry for telling her she played basketball wrong. He said, "I'm sure it didn't make you feel very loved to have me tell you, you were doing it wrong and I'm sorry." THIS MADE ME CRY! He said that she opened up right away and said that he was right. That apology led to a conversation about her family and how they make her feel. He was so happy that his best friend was talking to him again and I was SOOO PROUD that my 9 year old had listened, communicated and done the right thing. He has had many of these moments at school this year and I am just so proud of who he is. So, So, PROUD!